Like this:

I’ve always described myself as a ‘writer’ but as 2010 rolled into 2011 I’m starting to wonder if that’s really such an accurate description. Surely, in order to be a writer one must actually… write something. Writing is something I’ve done very little of over the last year. I know a lot of that is due to going back to school and having a lot of time taken up by studies. I was expecting my muse to still be telling me stories, to still be having lots and lots of ideas with no time to write but apparently this is not the case. I’ve not even been having ideas of things to write. I cannot remember a time since childhood that I’ve had no creative ideas. It’s quite distressing, actually.

I tried my hand at fanfiction but it all seems to be a very cliquey and sexually driven place that I’m not sure I belong in. I’m asexual so the focus on sex isn’t something I can understand.

But again, even with fanfiction, in order to write, you must have ideas. Which, as I just mentioned, I’m greatly lacking. I’ve looked at some of the prompting communities. I think I rather bit off more than I can chew with regards to the bingo cards and ended up writing nothing. No, I wrote one fanfiction and did have some wonderful reviews on it so that was nice. But I’ve had no more ideas. Possibly because I knew I’d taken on too much and didn’t know where to start. I’d like to find another one starting anew, for the new year, just take on the one challenge and see where that leads me. I’m not completely sure where to start but at least I know such communities exist on livejournal.

Ideally I’d like to get back to writing something every day, even if its just 100-250 words. I’ve looked at sites like 750words.com but the lack of ideas and this… big empty white space with a flashy cursor and that little note telling me I’ve written 0 words became a little daunting.

I know I’m probably overthinking this. I’m probably getting stressed over nothing and that is what is stopping me from writing. I used to be able to just open up Word and start typing and then I would have lost a couple of hours. I miss it. And I need to stop thinking about the past and start thinking not even about the future of my writing, but about the now of my writing. I was hoping that blogging about it might help me get it straight in my head but I seem to be chasing my own tail.

What I need is inspiration. Some kind of daily prompt to give my muse the proverbial kick up the backside. Preferably not sexually oriented like too many fandom livejournal communities tend to be. I liked the bingo card/prompting communities, although I do think that’s contradicting myself since its fandom and is therefore sexually oriented. But just something to make me think, to make me write.

I’m hesitant to make it a new years resolution because I’d be too nervous of breaking it, and therefore feeling like I’ve let myself down. But my aim for 2011 is definitely to get back into writing – whether its original or fanfiction – and to try to write something every day, even if its just 100 words.

If you know of any inspiration/prompting sites/communities that you think I would be able to make use of, please link me to them as it would be much appreciated. Thank you.

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