I think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. I’m stressed for the first time in my entire life and it’s not a feeling I’m happy with. Work. University. NaNoWriMo. I can feel my body shutting down and I want to cry and hide from the world but I have too much to do.
I’m a receptionist. I usually work full time hours but my boss has luckily agreed to let me work part time while I’m at school. I basically went into his office and told him he was agreeing to it. He did.
I’m working towards my BA in psychology. And working at the same time so that I can continue to pay for my education, my mortgage, my bills etc. Most of the time at work I have a textbook open or I’m working on an assignment.
What I used to do at work, and evenings, when I’m now studying, was write. Fiction, not essays. And NaNoWriMo has always been one of my favourite times of the year. Turn of the inner editor, forget about anything but getting out that 50k words. Today is the 9th. Word count goal for today is 15k. Previous years at this point I’ve been much closer to 20k. My current word count is just under 5k.
The sensible bit of my brain knows I should call NaNoWriMo quits because it’s the least important of the three things on my plate.
The emotional bit, the one I’m not used to having, let alone listening to, wants me to throw in school because I know it’s what stressing me out. It’s too hard, I’m not used to it, I’m not understanding.
At least I know what I’ll be writing about for my NaNoWriMo next year…. if I survive the next year, that is!